While there’s no shortage of suggestions for things to do during the stay at home advisory, there are plenty of people who really don’t feel like doing much of anything. With everything else going on, don’t feel bad about not wanting to tackle your to-do list.
Guilt is a totally toxic emotion and can do a lifetime of damage if not dealt with. If you only accomplish one thing while being confined in your castle, let it be letting go of guilt.
Isolating at home is the perfect metaphor for guilt, because it’s not a shared emotion. Guilt is an emotion that we suffer all alone with. It resides within the reflection of yourself and only you can send it packing.
Although the recipe for guilt is a gumbo of emotions like shame, fear, sadness and anger, ditching guilt is quite simply about one thing: forgiveness.
What would you tell a friend if she confided she felt guilty about something? You would feel compassion for her, and tell her we all make mistakes… or, you can’t beat yourself up about not accomplishing what you had hoped, and everyone, including you, deserves another chance to make the situation better for yourself.
So, look in the mirror (seriously!) and tell those heartfelt tidings to yourself. You can do this! No one is watching and you gotta start somewhere.
If your guilt is about something that involves someone else, it’s time to dig deep and prepare to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Here's where fear comes in at full volume and all you hear in your head is "what happens if I'm not forgiven?"
Once you have forgiven yourself, apologizing becomes much easier and you are more prepared for the result.
To gain a little more courage, remind yourself that people rarely won’t accept an apology. Hearing "I'm sorry" gives a sense of relief. It rights a wrong and provides the opportunity to start a conversation that helps everyone move on. And sometimes, what we feel terrible about, the other person may not have such strong feelings or memories of and will reassure you that you don't need to carry this burden any longer.
They may have their own guilt they need to forgive themselves for, and need time to process their own emotions. Remember, guilt is something we put on ourselves. It’s our own self suffering, so your goal is to forgive yourself and release those emotions by saying, IT’S OK!
The American philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson, wrote this message to his daughter who was worried over a mistake she'd made:
When you wave goodbye to guilt you lighten up–both mentally and emotionally. And right now, we could all use some brighter brainwaves!
Dream Lovelier, everyone!